Monday, October 24, 2011

Friday, October 14, 2011

"You have a beluga whale, mine is bigger, like a great blue whale."

My conversation today with Farmboy:

Me: Whale you be my friend? .________________.

Farmboy: Haha, nice.


Farmboy: I will be your friend.

Me: NO. You are SUPPOSED to say "Yes, I whale be your friend .______________. "

Farmboy: Yes, I whale be your friend .________.

Me: That was the most precious thing you have ever said to me :3 Whale be friends forever! ._________________.

Farmboy: Yes we whale ._________.

There is hope for him, ladies and gentleman.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Things that annoy me that I want to blog about because I am bored and need something to entertain me tonight.

I can't complain about things on Facebook or else people would have a pussy fit and start a personal attack against me on my status update. So, here you go.

1. I fucking hate people that don't know the definition of awkward.
"That awkward moment when my cat jumped on my lap."
Am I the only one that sees pure stupidity in these statements? Am I missing a really bad joke?

2. I hate that awkward moment when everyone wonders why my siblings and I look nothing alike.
See what I did there?

3. I hate when people freak out in the beginning of a very ripe, fresh relationship and want an answer to something like this: "WELL DO YOU FUCKING LOVE ME AND WANT TO BIRTH MY CHILDREN OR DO YOU JUST HATE ME SO MUCH THAT YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE ME AGAIN!?"
Patience is a virtue. Patience is also a big, bad bitch.

4. I hate people who say they hate reading.
I bet you can still read between the lines.

5. I hate it when people tell me I over-analyze things.
At least I have a brain. That functions. And has depth. This is a horrible argument to back up that statement, but I don't care. Just never tell me that, or I'll pluck your toes off and make that horrible scraping noise with a fork on a plate until you go insane.

I'll leave you with five so that I don't get too much hate mail (From my hundreds of followers, that is... hahahaha. Funny joke).

This makes me forget about all the things I hate and instead I piss my pants laughing: